Five words to describe your marriage...
Thought for today - We are continually faced by great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems.
Last night, when I was having trouble settling down to sleep, I ended up watching Oprah on television. (Who knew Oprah was on at 11:00pm?) The topic was five words to describe your marriage. It was an interesting show.
There was the usual set of unhappy couples that brought forward some very negative words to describe their marriages. That was predictable, but what caught my attention was the discussion presented by guest, Gary Zukav, as he tried to help these couples. He focused on how each individual needed to find their own "spiritual self." He didn't use the term spiritual self in reference to direct interaction with God or attending church, but in finding and releasing the "best you" there is.
As the show progressed, the idea immerged that each of us seeks out other individuals that "push our buttons" because we need this confrontation to grow through becoming our best selves. Some how, we are drawn to the specific challenge that we need to help us grow. I found this idea very intriguing.
At one point in the show, Oprah went so far as to say that "romance was the problem" behind many of our unhappy relationships. Her thoughts being that unrealistic ideals about a romantic partner completing us, making us whole, caused individuals to put all the responsibility of changing and growing on the other person, not themselves.
I can understand why she would present this idea for the audience, but what occured to me was, Oprah has never written a romance novel.
If we look closely at what really happens between the hero and heroine in a romance, don't we find exactly what Mr. Zukav and Ms. Winfrey have suggested? Its certainly not all hearts and flowers and candle-light. Don't our two main characters push each others buttons, to the point that they seem like they will never be able to spend five minutes together, let alone embrace happily-ever-after? Don't both individuals have to eventually grow, through their own realizations and efforts, to finally reach that satisfying end of our story? Isn't this emotional challenge and growth exactly why we find that promise of happily-ever-after so satisfying - because the characters have worked so hard to get there?
I know many read romance as an escape from their daily realities. That it is far easier to tolerate the odd, irrating habits of a fictional hero than those of our own spouses. But don't we seem to find that the best loved romances are really mirrors of reality?
Carpe diem,
Kellie
There was the usual set of unhappy couples that brought forward some very negative words to describe their marriages. That was predictable, but what caught my attention was the discussion presented by guest, Gary Zukav, as he tried to help these couples. He focused on how each individual needed to find their own "spiritual self." He didn't use the term spiritual self in reference to direct interaction with God or attending church, but in finding and releasing the "best you" there is.
As the show progressed, the idea immerged that each of us seeks out other individuals that "push our buttons" because we need this confrontation to grow through becoming our best selves. Some how, we are drawn to the specific challenge that we need to help us grow. I found this idea very intriguing.At one point in the show, Oprah went so far as to say that "romance was the problem" behind many of our unhappy relationships. Her thoughts being that unrealistic ideals about a romantic partner completing us, making us whole, caused individuals to put all the responsibility of changing and growing on the other person, not themselves.
I can understand why she would present this idea for the audience, but what occured to me was, Oprah has never written a romance novel.
If we look closely at what really happens between the hero and heroine in a romance, don't we find exactly what Mr. Zukav and Ms. Winfrey have suggested? Its certainly not all hearts and flowers and candle-light. Don't our two main characters push each others buttons, to the point that they seem like they will never be able to spend five minutes together, let alone embrace happily-ever-after? Don't both individuals have to eventually grow, through their own realizations and efforts, to finally reach that satisfying end of our story? Isn't this emotional challenge and growth exactly why we find that promise of happily-ever-after so satisfying - because the characters have worked so hard to get there?
I know many read romance as an escape from their daily realities. That it is far easier to tolerate the odd, irrating habits of a fictional hero than those of our own spouses. But don't we seem to find that the best loved romances are really mirrors of reality?
Carpe diem,
Kellie
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